Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.
This means Santa’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second–3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the “flying” reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can’t be done with eight or even nine of them-Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).
600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.
The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g’s.
A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
Santa? Are you OK?No comments
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
“That will be $9.40 please.” The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again andthe man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke.”
The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.”
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again.
“The usual asks the waitress?”
“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,” says the man.
“Same,” says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, “That will be $32.62.”
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
“Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?”
“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” says the waitress. “Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”
“That’s right… Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.
The waitress asks, “What’s with the ostrich?”
The man sighs, pauses and answers, “My second wish was for a tall chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say..”No comments
Here’s the Earthcam they use:
Here’s the Youtube search for “earthcam troll”.
I rear ended a midget with my car today.
He got out and said “I am not happy”.
So then I said, “Well than which dwarf are you?”No comments
Why do midgets always laugh when they run through grass?
It tickles their balls…No comments
Well, I finally did it. Got my old wordpress site moved over, and now it’s time to update it with all the content I have laying around. Some things may not work 100%, and I’m fairly certain many of the static links to internal pages in the site got borked when I imported everything, but such is life on the internet, right?
Now, to shuffle through ALL this content and get it done right…
2# Salmon Filet, divided into 6 parts
2 tsp white pepper, crushed
1/4 c frozen apple-mango-passion fruit juice concentrate
1 tbsp soy sauce or tamari
1/4 c coarse dijon mustard
3 tsp McIlhenny’s tabasco (use the green if you can find it)
3 tsp chopped dill
Get the grill nice and hot. Rinse the salmon, brush both sides lightly
with olive oil and sprinkle on pepper (again, both sides). In a small
bowl, mix together everything except the dill and lemon. Toss the
steaks on the grill, skin down (duh) and rearrange them after about
15-20 seconds to prevent them from sticking and disintegrating. Cook
for about 3 minutes, flip, and drizzle or brush on the sauce mixture.
After another 3 to 4 minutes, flip and add the remaining sauce. Give it
one more flip and another minute at most and you;re done.
I think this recipe goes well with Corn & Black Bean SaladNo comments